How pushups saved my business.
I was struggling, overwhelmed. I long had the idea to start a business, and now I finally had the billion-dollar idea. But I could not get myself to take real forward action.
I had spent my whole career bouncing between starting up my own business and working for the man at a corporate job. I was not happy at the corporate gig so I wouldn’t work with the intensity needed. Eventually, I would get fired and be totally good with that. I would then try to stand up my own thing, get overwhelmed, and get too deep into research, contemplation, and planning. The money would be used up, my family would be back in financial insecurity.
When I worked the job, I liked the paycheck and for a few weeks, I’d like the work. But I’d hate being away from my family, not able to be a real-time part of my boy’s life growing up.
When I was trying to stand up my own thing, I’d love being home around the boys and being a dad. But the money running out was terrible. Hustling trying to make the next bill was so stressful I could not breathe. As the weeks and months would go on, the pressure would mount, what was riding on an amazing launch would grow and as I would be strategizing the perfect product/launch/pitch, financial armageddon and homelessness would loom. Through a couple of cycles of this, I’d maxed-out credit cards, lost the house, lost a car, lost goodwill and credibility, and spent multiple friends and family rounds.
Money or Time, never both. That’s how I understood it.
I’d live in panic and promises, having to try and keep a roof over our head eventually I’d brush up my resume and hit LinkedIn. After a couple of rounds of this, I had cycled through my network a couple of times, reached out to colleagues of colleagues, and would resort to pumping my resume out on anonymous job boards. My sons needed special schooling, by the time I was hitting bottom the last time I owed the school $31K and had no income, no customers, no investors, no product….. just concepts in my head.
My wife lost her job and we were a week from benefits ending. I still had no income, no customers, no investors, no products, no team, no offers, no interviews. I had tried everything I knew, listened to innumerable hours of podcasts, read countless books, articles. Bullet journals, Get more done protocols, coaching, mentorships, tasks, asana, all the things… nothing worked for me longer than the time it took to set up. In desperation, I even tried Law of Attraction, and just couldn’t get it right enough to pay my rent.
I knew what people thought. What a waste. What a shame for those boys. I knew what my wife thought quietly. I knew I just couldn’t be successful long term at a job and I couldn’t get myself to get going on the idea that jazzed me. I was in a no man’s land with a giant ticking money clock behind me. Tick tick tick dollar dollar dollar. It was with me when I was awake. It was with me when I tried to sleep. I was not calling back my friends, because here I was in this situation again.
I had gotten sober years before, and so I was familiar with the knowledge that sometimes people can want something really bad and still not have sufficient power to take effective action. I knew I needed more power and because of my overwhelming fear, I couldn’t tap into God and I couldn’t trust and just let it go. I just couldn’t get there. I tried. Every day in meditation I would let it go for minutes. And every day in prayer, I’d find myself begging, pleading, making promises, proposing deals — God, if you…. I will…..
I’d look at my sons and cringe. I was avoiding mirrors.
I needed more power. That much was clear. Power to get me over the hump and get actions done. I needed to do a useful action. Action that would bring in money.
Where to get it?
I needed to get a boost. No drugs. Needed to be free or really cheap. I was stubborn enough that the drill sergeant routine did not work, emotional enough that I was already overwhelmed. Any pressure my wife, friends and family put on me, caused me to do one of three counterproductive things:
1. close up and withdraw
2. lash out
3. work resentfully
I knew that if I banged out a set of something physical, I would feel jazzed and relaxed for a few minutes. I was desperate. I knew that sometimes emotions worked backward….from the outside in. So I figured If I could do pushups to failure, I’d feel successful about something and in the recovery time, my emotions would subside enough for me to move a little step forward.
So I went to the floor. 1, 2, 3,4, 8,…13 *collapse*
I was 60lbs overweight. Heavy breathing. But I felt the chest swole. I felt good. Like I could breathe. I felt strong and ok for the first time in a while. I went to my computer and started to write. I got some work in.
My mind would wander. All I could do I go to the floor. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 10 *collapse*
Take a couple of breaths, start to get charged and get back to the desk.
Fear would creep up. Go to the floor. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 *collapse*
Get an email out. Yearn to check the news. Go to the floor. 1, 2, 3, 4 *collapse*
Make a call. Want to check email. Go to the floor. 1,2,3,……4 *collapse*
Write the first draft of this medium piece. Start edit-judging. Go to the floor. 1,2,3,4,,,,,,5, 6 *collapse*
1st day. Ok. Not perfect, but better than yesterday.
2nd day. Go to the floor.
Onward. Add a kettlebell. Mix in shoulder-stand squats. “I want to run. No, not yet.” Go to the floor.
1,2,3,4,5…10, 11 *collapse*
I don’t set out daily minimums. I set a low bar so I can feel successful. The pushups are simply part of the process. Somedays I do 200, on better days I do 50.
And so now I have customers, I have products, a website that works, my sons are in school, We finally have 6 figure revenue. It's not perfect, but it is going in the right direction. I’m committed to growth, daily action, and continuous improvement. At any given moment, you can check on me and maybe I’m at my desk, or maybe on the floor. But I am there, working my emotions backward. Outside → Inside. Getting power to get through the overwhelm.
60lbs lost later, Pushups didn’t give me the power to be un-overwhelmed, they do give me the power to do the next right step. They give me fighting power.
And if you are overwhelmed and just not getting enough done, I’ll bet they’ll give you just enough more power too.
Thanks so much for taking the time to read my article! If you enjoyed reading it, you can support me by giving this article a bunch of claps, reading my other root and gut-related articles, support our work over at Patreon, and check me out at our home over at Greensome Farms where we go broader and deeper on gut and soil health, empowering you to feel better for less.
You have what it takes to do hard things!
Kareem
Notes:
1. https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1877065716300811
2. https://www.sciencedirect.com/topics/neuroscience/parasympathetic-nervous-system
